It's been a week since I have blogged and I can't believe that the time has gotten away from me. I really wanted to blog more often. Oh well!
We have not heard from anyone regarding the baby in Arizona. Chad and I talked when we first heard about her and we said then, even if this does not work out- we know that God has a baby for us somewhere.
This past Sunday, our preacher was speaking about peace. In fact, the theme is Know Jesus, Know Peace. He spoke about the storms of life and what we needed to have and do to survive them. I won't go into that right now but I want to get you into my mind at that moment. I had just sang the choir number in which I had a solo. The words of the solo are: Carry me, Father God, in your strong eagle wings of love. Through the storms, keep me safe. Through the tears and all my shame, carry me. It really paints a picture. Can't you see yourself wrapped in His arms. I have a memory of my dad carrying me and the feeling as if nothing bad could or would happen to me as long as I was in his arms. It is that way with our Heavenly Father.
During the sermon, I was reminded of something that I had heard three years ago, but I could not really remember exactly the words of the lesson and the Hymn that went with it. I have over the past 6 years been blessed to go to a couple of Women of Faith conferences each year. One year, Jennifer Rothschild was speaking and she really spoke to me. At that time, we were just beginning to start to discover why we were not getting pregnant and I really took what she had to say to heart. She had quite a story to share. Here's the lesson that has stayed with me several years later. Although, I may not be well in my circumstances, because I have faith in God, it is well with my soul. That's it! The hymn is It is well with my soul. To show you what a great God He is, after the invitation, the offertory hymn was It is Well! Wow! My heart jumped! I love it when He speaks to me and affirms my thoughts.
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,When sorrows like sea billows roll;Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,It is well, it is well, with my soul.
It is well, with my soul,It is well, with my soul,It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Monday, January 7, 2008
We need your prayers!
Good morning! I need to catch you up with what happened last week. I did not blog about it before because I had a feeling that I was not ready to share with everyone. On New Years Eve morning, Chad and I had an appointment with our doctor in Columbia. This was a reevaluation appointment. I have been on Clomid for 8 cycles and was taking the largest dosage I could take with varying results regarding mature follicles (eggs). We have tried insemination (IUI) 6 times. It was time to look further. Our doctor gave us several options. The first is to have a Hysterosalpingogram (HSG). This test is an X-ray procedure performed to determine whether the fallopian tubes are open and to see if the shape of the uterine cavity is normal. This is the next step. We can continue with Clomid and IUI, but this recommend to make sure that we are not wasting our money. The test will cost about $1500 and even after both the doctor's office and I have called, the insurance company has not said whether they will pay any or not. I was at the correct time during my cycle for the test. In fact, I was to have it done on Friday. Chad and I made the decision to wait until the next cycle. We pay everything at the time of service and we wanted to make sure that we could cover it if insurance did not cover it after all.
There were other options discussed. There are other fertility drugs but the HSG is needed to go further and I'm not sure that I want to take shots everyday. We discussed in-vetro fertilization (IVF). This will cost us about $12,000 for one try and since the problem is both Chad and I we only have a chance of about 10% of this working. We had a lot of decisions to make.
On the way home, we decided that it was time to start adoption proceedings. We can continue with the HSG, Clomid, and IUI, but we will begin the long process to adopt. Chad said that he has felt for a while that God wanted us to adopt. I was beginning to wonder too. Chad had a close friend that is a lawyer and adopted his first son. We got a card for an adoption lawyer in KC. I downloaded the application and we started making a list of who we were going to ask to write letters on our behalf.
Now, here is the good part. It was Friday morning, and I was scheduled to have the HSG done that morning but I had cancelled the appointment. My prayer that morning was, "Lord, if adoption is what you want for us then let there be no obstacles and fling open the doors wide."
A couple of hours later, I was at Wal-Mart meeting with other co-workers to buy supplies for work. While I was at the front waiting, my friend Amanda came in. I walked over to say hi and she asked if I had a minute to talk. She said that she had talked to another friend that week (Shelley) and she had told her that her aunt's boss has a niece that had a baby girl 3 weeks old was was planning to give it up for adoption. Wow! Lord you are awesome! Even if this is not the baby you have for us, thank you for your confirmation of your plan for us. We are in the process of finding out about more information about this baby and what we need to do. Please pray for us. Pray for God's will in our lives and that we will recognize His will. That every decision is with our eyes on Him and if things do not work out this time that our hearts and minds realize that this was not our baby but ours is out there.
There were other options discussed. There are other fertility drugs but the HSG is needed to go further and I'm not sure that I want to take shots everyday. We discussed in-vetro fertilization (IVF). This will cost us about $12,000 for one try and since the problem is both Chad and I we only have a chance of about 10% of this working. We had a lot of decisions to make.
On the way home, we decided that it was time to start adoption proceedings. We can continue with the HSG, Clomid, and IUI, but we will begin the long process to adopt. Chad said that he has felt for a while that God wanted us to adopt. I was beginning to wonder too. Chad had a close friend that is a lawyer and adopted his first son. We got a card for an adoption lawyer in KC. I downloaded the application and we started making a list of who we were going to ask to write letters on our behalf.
Now, here is the good part. It was Friday morning, and I was scheduled to have the HSG done that morning but I had cancelled the appointment. My prayer that morning was, "Lord, if adoption is what you want for us then let there be no obstacles and fling open the doors wide."
A couple of hours later, I was at Wal-Mart meeting with other co-workers to buy supplies for work. While I was at the front waiting, my friend Amanda came in. I walked over to say hi and she asked if I had a minute to talk. She said that she had talked to another friend that week (Shelley) and she had told her that her aunt's boss has a niece that had a baby girl 3 weeks old was was planning to give it up for adoption. Wow! Lord you are awesome! Even if this is not the baby you have for us, thank you for your confirmation of your plan for us. We are in the process of finding out about more information about this baby and what we need to do. Please pray for us. Pray for God's will in our lives and that we will recognize His will. That every decision is with our eyes on Him and if things do not work out this time that our hearts and minds realize that this was not our baby but ours is out there.
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Happy New Year!
I'm Back! As you may know, Chad sells quite a bit on ebay and since he was off I did not get time on the computer. I loved the time with him since my job had very limited hours for the last two weeks.
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! We certainly did. I love this time of year! I love spending the extra time with my family and being reminded of the greatest gift that anyone ever received. God's everlasting love, His ultimate sacrifice, and His unfailing grace. Can we ever truly comprehend His love for us. Those of you who are parents I'm sure can understand the love and joy that He finds in us, the pleasure He feels when we spend time with Him, and the unconditional love that He demonstrates each day. But is that even an inch of what He feels for us? Somehow, I do not think so. Lord, thank you for loving me even when I forget to "call", am to busy to spend time with you, want things that I do not need, and say or do things that do not reflect you.
This Christmas, I wanted only one thing. To be pregnant. In fact, I had it all figured out. I was late starting and my plan was to take the test Christmas morning. Even though I did not take any fertility drugs nor did we do insemination, I was sure that God would show how big He is. What a wonderful testimony that would be! If the test was positive, I was going to wrap up the test and when all of my family and Chad's parents were at our house for Christmas I would give it to him. Can you imagine the joy that would be in the house that day? It was negative. Immediately, the tears came. Yes, my heart was breaking. But, with every tear came the knowledge that God did not need to make me pregnant to show how big He is. He had already done that by sending His son, His infant son, to be born in a stable. His timing is perfect! Christmas day is about celebrating the birth of Christ. I did not get what I wanted for Christmas, instead I got something much greater. Philippians 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"
I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! We certainly did. I love this time of year! I love spending the extra time with my family and being reminded of the greatest gift that anyone ever received. God's everlasting love, His ultimate sacrifice, and His unfailing grace. Can we ever truly comprehend His love for us. Those of you who are parents I'm sure can understand the love and joy that He finds in us, the pleasure He feels when we spend time with Him, and the unconditional love that He demonstrates each day. But is that even an inch of what He feels for us? Somehow, I do not think so. Lord, thank you for loving me even when I forget to "call", am to busy to spend time with you, want things that I do not need, and say or do things that do not reflect you.
This Christmas, I wanted only one thing. To be pregnant. In fact, I had it all figured out. I was late starting and my plan was to take the test Christmas morning. Even though I did not take any fertility drugs nor did we do insemination, I was sure that God would show how big He is. What a wonderful testimony that would be! If the test was positive, I was going to wrap up the test and when all of my family and Chad's parents were at our house for Christmas I would give it to him. Can you imagine the joy that would be in the house that day? It was negative. Immediately, the tears came. Yes, my heart was breaking. But, with every tear came the knowledge that God did not need to make me pregnant to show how big He is. He had already done that by sending His son, His infant son, to be born in a stable. His timing is perfect! Christmas day is about celebrating the birth of Christ. I did not get what I wanted for Christmas, instead I got something much greater. Philippians 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"
Friday, December 21, 2007
I am Blessed!
Well, I have gone and done it! I have created a blog. Why? I have no idea! My sister created one last year and I love visiting it. It is a great way to connect and find out more about the people in our lives.
I chose to title my blog Blessings Overflowed because I am reminded daily that I am blessed! As many of you know, Chad and I have been trying to have a baby for quite some time now. Each month, there is more disappointment and more heartbreak. Yet, I am always reminded that I am blessed.
Our infertility treatments include Clomid, shots of HCG, and insemination. We were very hopeful that our last attempt would be successful, but on Thanksgiving day we found out that we were not. It was the worst possible day to start. The timing was horrible. I could have started a day earlier or a day later and timing would be fine to try on the next cycle. Regardless of the disappointment, I was reminded that I am incredibly blessed. God has taught me so much in the last few years. I am thankful for a God that loves me, that sent His son to die for me, and will fulfill my every need. He is always there for me. My husband can not complete me, my children can not complete me, and a career can not complete me. Only God can!
I hope to blog again before Christmas, but if not....
Merry Christmas and remember you are blessed too!
I chose to title my blog Blessings Overflowed because I am reminded daily that I am blessed! As many of you know, Chad and I have been trying to have a baby for quite some time now. Each month, there is more disappointment and more heartbreak. Yet, I am always reminded that I am blessed.
Our infertility treatments include Clomid, shots of HCG, and insemination. We were very hopeful that our last attempt would be successful, but on Thanksgiving day we found out that we were not. It was the worst possible day to start. The timing was horrible. I could have started a day earlier or a day later and timing would be fine to try on the next cycle. Regardless of the disappointment, I was reminded that I am incredibly blessed. God has taught me so much in the last few years. I am thankful for a God that loves me, that sent His son to die for me, and will fulfill my every need. He is always there for me. My husband can not complete me, my children can not complete me, and a career can not complete me. Only God can!
I hope to blog again before Christmas, but if not....
Merry Christmas and remember you are blessed too!
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