Mother's Day

I hope that every mother reading this had a wonderful Mother's Day. I hope that you realize how truly you are blessed.

In our church, Mother's Day is a busy day. There is Graduation Recognition, Baby Dedication, and of course recognition of mothers. Last year, I was walking to the choir room and I saw all those parents lined up with their babies and I was hit with a wall of grief. It was all I could do to not run out of the church. A dear friend was dedicating her new son that day and I needed to be there for that so I continued on. But I could not make it through the entire service. You see during the Children's Feature, all the mothers are asked to stand up and the kids give every mother a flower. It would not be so bad if I was sitting in the congregation. Instead, I am in the choir loft and it felt as if I was shouting, "I am not a mother! I have no children!" The same thing happens every time someone asks me if I have any kids. Heartache. Despair. Emptiness. Even now as I sit typing, tears are running down my face. Luckily, the choir was dismissed soon after that. I went home to grieve before being with my family to celebrate the wonderful mothers in my life.

This year I thought that I was doing better. Another friend was dedicating her baby and when I saw all the parents waiting, I was happy for them. Again, the mothers were asked to stand up, but this time it was much better. When the choir was dismissed, I did not run away. I went and sat with my family. Our pastor's sermon was about traits of a good mother. At one point, he was speaking about Hannah and her desire to have a child. He stopped and said that we needed to recognize that every woman who wanted a child did not have them. I was fine until that point. Tears could not be stopped. I continued to sit and listen and eventually the tears stopped. The rest of the day was wonderful. We had lunch with my in-laws, my mom, and my grandma. We then went to my grandma's and played cards all afternoon.

This past Sunday was our Music Minister's last day with us. He and his wife are moving to Texas to be closer to their son and grandchildren. Bob and Susan will be greatly missed. They have enriched our lives so much. They both are reflections of Christ. At the end of the service, our pastor presented a gift to them and it was an emotional time. I managed to get myself under control to sing the closing song. After the service, I was walking down a hall and Susan was coming from the other direction. We hugged and she said. "I am going to tell you something that is going to make you cry. On Mother's Day, I looked for you. I had gotten two flowers and I wanted to give you one. I know that somewhere, somehow God has a baby for you. Until that time, you need to know what an impact you are having on children in this town. You are doing great things for them." She was right. I was crying.

That evening there was a reception for Bob and Susan. I was hopping to tell them how much they have meant to us and to be able to give to them like they are always giving to others. Instead, they gave to us. They shared with us the joy that they had about us planning to adopt. Bob said that our child would be very lucky knowing how much he or she was desired. That our child would be blessed to have us as parents. Thank you, Bob and Susan.